Men Can Be Abused, Too

Samantha Jackson
5 min readMay 30, 2022

[Trigger warning: This post contains material about sexual and dating violence.]

I think it’s important to remember that men can be victims too. I know what you’re thinking: “But men are always the perpetrators of domestic violence!” And while that may be largely true, it’s also important to acknowledge that men can be victims too. Over 43 million women and 38 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Men who are victims of intimate partner violence often don’t have the same support structure or resources as women when it comes to leaving abusive partners. There are more than 4,000 intimate partner violence programs in the U.S., but very few actually offer the same services to men as they do women. I know that men are capable of being abused by their partners — and it happens more often than you’d think. But what about other instances? What if the man is less famous? What if the man is less powerful or confident? We live in a world where people think that men are “supposed” to be strong and confident — and that makes them less likely to report abuse or seek help in any situation. That’s what I want to change.

I’m not saying that men don’t perpetrate intimate partner violence either (they do), but there is still a lot we need to do in terms of taking the issue seriously when it involves men. This isn’t just about making sure they have access to resources — it’s also about changing the way we talk about these issues so that we are able to truly address them at their root cause: toxic masculinity and its role in our society today. As someone who has been a victim of intimate partner violence, I believe strongly that we need to be talking about this issue in ways that don’t perpetuate stereotypes about gender and power dynamics.

We’ve seen a lot of comments online lately about Johnny Depp’s relationship with Amber Heard, and how she allegedly abused him. A lot of people are saying that it’s not possible for a man to be abused by a woman and that if he was, he must have deserved it. We should

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Samantha Jackson

community organizer / intersectional feminist / Take That & NKOTB fan / fashion enthusiast